"Do you have any data that will fit my theory?"
"I had my DNA tested. I''m 100% NEANDERTHAL."
"One day Mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"
"I've discovered the cure for…("Stop! Whatever it is, people are already protesting it!").
"Fred called in sick. So far he's used herpes, plague. What's his excuse this time?…EBOLA VIRUS."
"They fed me high-fructose drinks all day. What was I supposed to do…say no?"
"Of course, we don't communicate. He's all wrapped up in his cocoon."
Auntie Bodies
Biology Chemistry Science of Little Round Things
Genetic Engineering ‘n Things
Map of Human Genome
Pencils Markers Genetic Markers
Rat jumps out of scientist’s birthday cake
Why animal testing takes so long
“About these experiments you’ve conducted for twelve years…no one remembers hiring you.”
“About this medical marijuana study…I’m totally stoked about the results.”
“Boss is coming. Discover something!”
“Enjoy your meal.”
“I already wrote the paper. That’s why it’s so hard to get the right data.”
“I found a cure for the humongous cold, the extreme cold and ... common cold?”
“It’s been fifty years now. I guess you can’t compare apples to oranges.”
“It’s only a conflict of interest if the data turns out good.”
“No, I’m not the waiter. I’m the genetic engineer.”
“No, those aren’t my diplomas. They’re my regulations.”
“Oh, me? I gave a seminar, wrote a bunch of grants, did some experiments and now it’s lunchtime.”
“Once they developed insecticide resistance, they became much bigger pests.”
“Our research is solidified, but our funding has vaporized.”
“Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock?”
“Sorry, I’m late. I volunteered for the obesity-gene study.”
“The worst thing about being a clone is having no one to blame but yourself.”
“Where will I find the fine line between art and science?”
“You can’t keep running in here demanding data every five years!”
“You have a Y chromosome. I like that in a man.”
“You’ve heard of smart computers? Well, these are graduated cylinders.”